The Hurt Inner Child

There is within us all a child that has no doubt been hurt at some stage, to a greater or lesser degree. Life is trouble and we get hurt at all stages, it is the hurt we experience as a child that can impact how we react to life events when we are big grown adults. Can we connect the two? How can we recognise if we are reacting from the hurt child within us , rather than the adult that has matured and developed.
I often meet the " hurt child " in my practice and groups,  and have the greatest respect for this vulnerable and tender aspect of ourselves. The tone of voice, body language, sometimes just a look will tell me the inner child is present in the room. The work for all of us is to trust that we as adults can look after this side of ourselves. We become our own parents. Even those of us who's parents are alive and well can psychologically and emotionally recognise when we need to parent the hurt child within us, without needing to go outside ourselves. It can be a lot easier for us to look to others to ease the hurt in us, our partners or friends, called to the table to kiss and make it all better. The truth is it doesnt work, not in the long term. Of course it can be very smoothing to have someone ease the pain, it just cannot be sustainable.
So how to do it ourselves? Awareness is often the key, the fact that we can recognise when the hurt child is "reacting". Know your body, your tonality, recognise when your voice becomes childish, when your body closes in, check in with your lower belly, it is where the little one resides and let your adult do what it must. What does this hurt side of us need, trust your ability to recognise it, and also your capacity to meet that need. Take the simple route, its not complicated. We are all different and we will need different things, for me it is solitude and nature, so discover what takes care of you. The process is to allow this child to integrate with the adult, so our responses are mature and we slowly allow the hurt to dilute.The little one inside will soon trust your taking good care of him or her. Go on,  be a good Mammy or Daddy today!